Thirty-Three.

“I loved that song so much.” I said after he played it for me. When I was first diagnosed, I was so obsessed with listening to 90’s love songs. My favorite was Truly, Madly, Deeply by Savage Garden. I know its rather stupid, but I loved it. One night, after I had a really bad day of chemo, Liam came into my room. He just started singing me that song. It was one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. It was so amazing. Just hearing that song gives me chills.

“I loved you so much.” He said.

“What happened to go from there to where we are right now?” I asked.

“a bunch of mistakes.” He said.

“It hurts sometimes to think about how we use to be.” I said.

“I’m so sorry for the Morgan thing.”

“I know, Liam. I forgive you.”

“I didn’t deserve to be forgiven. You deserved so much better than I gave you.”

“Liam, you were everything to me. You gave me everything. Without you, I wouldn’t be here right now.”

“Then I messed up.”

“People make mistakes.”

“I just.. I’m really sorry. If I could take it back, I would.”

“I know, Liam. Things happen for a reason.” I said.

“So you think we were meant to break up?”

“I think we had to have been. I mean we didn’t get back together. Its been a year.”

“I wanted to get back with you. You picked Sidney.”

“To be honest, I didn’t really think you wanted me back.”

“Of course, I wanted you back. I always want you.” He said.

“Liam, we can’t be having this conversation.” I said.

“Why not?”

“Because you are dating Maggie.”

“Maggie means nothing compared to you.”

“Liam, I love you. The love we had may be the best I will ever experience in my life, but its over now. You cheated on me. You decided it was over. I’m not bitter, I’m not mad, but its over. For so long I wanted you to say the things you have said. For so long I was hoping you would just kiss me. But, you didn’t.”

“I’m stupid.”

“you aren’t stupid. Its just.. we aren’t the same people anymore.”

“That doesn’t mean we still wouldn’t work.”

“but we can’t figure it out. You have Maggie. You are 19 years old, you should be able to live life without having to report to me. I love you and nothing will change that.” I said.

“I’m just scared that I’m losing you.”

“you will never lose me, Liam.” I said.

“Promise.”

“I promise. You know everything about me and love me anyway. That’s true love.” I said.