Nineteen.

That night I had sex with Sidney. I wasn’t really sure what it meant. Actually, I think I knew what it meant. Sidney and I obviously had chemistry, physically and emotionally. Having sex with Sidney wasn’t a difficult decision, I hadn’t really thought about it, but it felt right. However, he was leaving today. He was leaving and making love with him wasn’t going to change it. Funny that I just said making love since Sidney and I weren’t in love. We were on the way to being in it, I think, but definitely not there yet. Sidney would leave and I may end up just being another girl he had been with, but I wanted one night with him. I wanted to know what it felt like to be his world, I wanted to remember how it felt to be the only girl he wanted to be with.

I woke up by a kiss from Sidney.

“You leave today.” I said with my eyes still closed.

“I know, what was last night?” He asked.

“A great night.” I said smiling.

“True, but what does it mean?”

“Sidney, don’t over think things. Everything I said before still stands. But last night.. was nice.” I said.

“It was really nice.” He said running his hands down my side. When he got to where my scar was I must have made a face, because he gave me a look. I pulled the covers down to show it to him.

“This huge scar is embarrassing.” I said.

“Its not bad, Grace.”

“I honestly thought it would go down by now. Its still as red as it was when they removed the mole.” I said.

“It just makes you who you are.” He said and kissed the exact spot my scar was at.

“Are you sure you have to leave?” I said rolling on him.

“Sorry.” He said kissing my nose.

“I know, it will be fine.” I said rolling out of bed to get dressed.

Sidney jumped into the shower and I started to make breakfast. He was going to go back to the Lemieuxs and then I would pick him up to take him to the airport. I was dreading the goodbye. You know when you really like someone or you are dating someone but you haven’t said I love you yet, I just never know how to end a conversation or say goodbye. It just seems so natural to say I love you to someone, but when you aren’t at that point yet, do you just say goodbye? It just doesn’t seem like enough, and that’s what just kept running through my mind.

“I wish I could just ask you to stay and you would.” I whispered in his ear while we were hugging in the airport.

“I wish it was that simple. You know I would if I could.” He said.

“This sucks.” I said pulling away.

“I’ll be back in like three weeks for a few days.” He said reassuring me.

“I know.” I said and he pulled me back into a hug.

“I’ll miss you.” He said.

“Me too. Call me later.” I said and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Okay, just leave before I start crying!” I said.

“Don’t cry. I’ll be thinking of you.” He said touching my face and giving me a kiss on the lips.

“Bye.” He whispered and turned to walk onto the plane.

“Are you okay?” Liam asked when I walked into the apartment.

“Yeah.” I said plopping down on the couch.

“What happened?” He asked.

“It was just a lot harder than I thought it would be.” I said.

“He will be back before you know it, Grace.”

“I know.” I simply said.

“Distance makes the heart grow fonder.” He said.

“Thanks for that hallmark pick me up.” I said laughing.

I can’t stop thinking about last night. I wish tonight could be like that again.

“Sidney?” Liam asked.

“Yeah.. lets think if I am sitting with you right now and Rose is working it could only be Sidney.” I said laughing.

“Atleast you are laughing.” Liam said.

“I think its because I’m sad that I like am making myself laugh.” I said.

Me too. You will have fun being at home. Me on the other hand is about to hit my chem book.

Ouch. That is rough. I’ll call you later. Don’t study too much.

Don’t party too much.

Never.

“Look at this Liam, I just told Sidney not to party too much and he sends me a picture of an empty glass.” I said laughing.

Nice attempt, but I know it wasn’t full of alcohol.

Can’t fool you. Tal k to you soon.

“I know at first I didn’t like the thought of you and Sidney..but you two are good together. Sidney is a good guy.” Liam said.

“Thanks, Liam. That means a lot.” I said giving him a little hug.