Twenty-Four.

“Are you feeling better?” Liam asked me when I walked into the kitchen the next morning.

“No, because what happened last night.. still happened.” I said.

“If you really think you need to be with him, then just call him up tell you were stupid.” He said.

“And lie to my parents?” I asked.

“Yeah.”

“I can’t do that.”

“If you are that unhappy about living without Sidney, you have to do it.” He said.

“I just don’t get why they made me do it.” I said.

“I kind of see where they are coming from.” He said.

“What?”

“I mean I can see both sides.”

“Enlighten me.” I said.

“We both know that when you have cancer, you need a support system. You need the people you love around you. You need to feel that love, because if you don’t you feel even more alone that you already are. I know you, Grace. I know you better than anyone else. If you are with Sidney, you will jump in head first, which you should. I am not saying loving Sidney is wrong. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be with him, but I am saying that if you did get sick again, he wouldn’t be there unless the timing was perfect. If you got sick during the summer he would be there, no questions asked. But, any other time he can’t possibly be the guy you need him to be, even if he wanted to be.”

“I have you and my parents and Rose. Knowing Sidney loves me and wishes he could be with me would be enough. Its not like he would be gone for months at a time, he would be gone for a few days at a time.” I said.

“True, but don’t you think it would kill him knowing you are going through this and he isn’t there?”

“I don’t know, Liam. But, it doesn’t matter now because I can’t be with him. And I don’t get why this is an issue. I don’t have cancer. Its like saying that a random person shouldn’t date a professional athlete because on the off chance they would become terminally ill, they wouldn’t be around.”

“It sucks, Grace. It does. And I know your heart is hurting and I know you probably should be with Sidney. You need to make your parents see that. You need to give them some time.”

“Sidney isn’t going to wait for me forever. I can’t ask him to do that. I can’t ask him to wait for me until my parents give me the okay.”

“It’s a shitty situation. There really isn’t anything you can do if you aren’t going to lie to your parents. I wish I could help, I would I could make it better, but I can’t.” He said.

“I’m just going to miss him.” I said.

“You don’t have to cut him out completely.”

“I feel like I have too. Talking to him or seeing him is just going to hurt that much more.” I said.

“I think you should just give it some time. He isn’t even coming back for a few months. So much can happen between now and then.”

“Exactly. I’m scared that he will forget me. I’m scared that he will find someone better.”

“If he could forget you, he’s not worth it.” He said.

For the past four days, I haven’t talked to Sidney. He hasn’t tried to talk to me and I haven’t tried to talk to him. That’s not to say I haven’t been thinking about him. Its kind of gotten ridiculous, I think about him all the time. The past four days, I haven’t done anything besides study, go to class, and go to the hospital. I have been with Ty every waking moment while I am at the hospital. I have seen James a few times. We keep giving each other glances, but we haven’t really talked.

I was sitting in the family room. Ty fell asleep while I was holding him. It was comforting just holding him, watching him sleep. It was like no care in the world followed me into that hospital. It was like nothing existed outside of these walls, and that’s why I liked going there. I was in control while I was in this hospital. I was in control of my life, my parents weren’t.

“So guess who keeps asking questions about you?” Mollie said walking into the family room.

“Who?”

“James.”

“Why?”

“I guess he is curious.”

“Are you friends with him?”

“Yeah, I guess. He is here all the time.”

“Yeah. I don’t get why he cares about me.”

“I’m sure you will find out. You two are bound to bump into eachother again. You both basically live here these days.”

“I have seen him. We just kind of look at each other. He always seems busy.”

“Just give it time.” She said.

Mollie was right. James did come around the next day. I was in the family room around 9. I had just cleaned the toys up and was about to study. I did this every once and awhile. I would stay late to study or I would just do the little things. I would stay up with a patient just to talk, its just things I would do. I was just about to crack open my calculus book when James walked in.

“Hey, what are you doing?” I asked him.

“Mollie said you were in here, so I thought I’d come say hi.” He said.

“Okay?” I said a little confused.

“What are you studying?”

“Calculus.” I said.

“So you go to school here?” He asked.

“I go to school at Pitt.”

“For?”

“Nursing.”

“I didn’t think nurses had to take calculus.”

“They don’t. I want to be a doctor.” I said.

“Things are finally falling into place.” He said laughing a little.

“So I haven’t seen you around really before this summer?”

“Yeah, I’m not usually on this floor that much.”

“What kind of doctor are you?”

“I’m a pediatrician, obviously.” He said.

“Well I didn’t know if you declared a specialty or something.” I said.

“So what year are you?” I asked.

“I’m starting my third year residency. I’m 28.”

“Oh, wow. That’s cool.”

“How old are you?”

“Not 28.”

“Well I hope not since you are still in college.”

“I’m young. When I tell you how young, you will start looking at me differently.”

“I won’t.”

“Why?” I asked confused by his answer.

“Because anyone that will dedicate so much time doing something and not getting paid for it is someone who is mature and can see the big picture. No matter how young you may think you are, you are a much older soul.” He said.

“Thanks, I guess.” I said.

“Do you need any help with Calc?” He asked.

“No, I’m fine.” I said. After a few minutes of me reading the textbook and him just staring at me, I finally broke the silence.

“What school did you go too?” I asked.

“I went to Vanderbilt and then Virginia Medical School.” He said.

“Two good schools.” I said.

“Impressed?” He asked.

“Maybe.” I said giving him a little smirk.

“I’m originally from a small town in Tennessee.”

“Why didn’t you stay in Virginia for your residency? They have a good children’s hospital.” I said.

“Yeah, they do. I wanted a change of scenery. Pitt is really good too.”

“What’s your specialty going to be?” I asked.

“Neonatology.” He said.

“Wow.” I said. Then I didn’t really know what to do. It wasn’t like he was annoying me, it was interesting to talk to someone that is going through something that I want to go through. He seems nice enough and I didn’t mean to be rude, but I really did need to do work.

“Well, I got to go study.” I said packing up my books.

“Sorry to interrupt.” He said.

“Oh no, that’s okay. I better get back to my apartment anyways.” I said.

“Well, I’ll see you around.” He said and I got up.

“Yeah, see you.” I said smiling and leaving the room.