Chapter Thirty.

James and I haven’t talked about the love thing since he brought it up that night. We are still going strong, but I don’t know what you would call us. Once school starts it will be even more difficult to see him. He has weird shifts and on the days he works til like 11, there is no way I can see him unless its only for an hour. I’m not letting myself worry about it because I figure everything will work out. Plus, I have like four days before classes start. I am just enjoying my last few days of summer with my friends.

“Rose!” I screamed when I heard her walk through the door to the apartment.

“Grace?” She said kind of scared.

“Sorry, I am just so excited you are back.” I said laughing.

“Awe, you missed me that much.” She said.

“Yeah, and maybe now Maggie and Liam will leave.” I said.

“Is she that awful?” She asked me when we got into her room.

“they are just annoying together. I think I may like her if she wasn’t dating Liam.” I said and Rose just looked at me.

“I’m not jealous of her!” I said.

“Then what was that statement suppose to mean?” She asked me.

“Its just they are always together. I never see Liam alone anymore.” I said.

“Well you have James.”

“Yeah, and he works all the time.” I said.

“Have you talked to Sidney lately?” She asked me.

“Not really. He should be come back in like two weeks.” I said.

“hows that going to be?”

“Should be interesting.”

“He knows about James though, right?”

“Yeah.”

“When am I going to meet James?” She asked me.

“Tonight. He only works til 7 so then he is coming here.” I said.

“So you really like him?” She asked me.

“Yeah.”

“What?” She asked me.

“Nothing, he is a good guy.”

“But..”

“But, I don’t know.”

We talked about stupid stuff for the rest of the night until James came around. James and Rose really hit it off. It was nice to have Rose finally meet him. All three of us hung out for a few hours talking and watching tv, then Rose went into her room. James just stayed the night but had work the next day. So he left early in the morning. He was making me dinner at his place later that night. I was kind of scared of what that meant. Usually he does things like that when he has something to tell me.

“Hey.” Rose said when she woke up that morning.

“Hey, girl.”

“So, James is cuter than I thought he would be.”

“He is cute.”

“And nice.”

“Yeah, he is nice.” I said.

“Grace, he seems like a good guy. You two seem good together.” She said.

“Better than me and Sidney?” I asked.

“Different.”

“I know.”

“You still think about him much?”

“Its bad, Rose. I have this great guy in front of me but I can’t help but think of Sidney. And James doesn’t deserve that and Sidney doesn’t deserve me thinking about him. I mean he did cheat on me.”

“People make mistakes.”

“Yeah, and history has a tendency of repeating itself.” I said.

“I’m scared of what it will be like..” I said.

“When?” Rose said confused.

“I’m scared of not being with Sidney.”

“Then be with him.”

“I’m scared of being with him too.”

“What? You aren’t making sense.” She said.

“I’m scared of not being with him and seeing him. I’m scared of what it will be like to see him in the city. I’m scared of not knowing what he is doing and who he is. I don’t know how my heart can take it.”

“It seems like an easy solution, be with Sidney.” She said.

“I’m scared of that too. What if he breaks my heart? What if he finds someone better? What if he cheats on me? What if I’m not enough.” I said.

“I don’t think you should just not be with Sidney because you are afraid to get hurt.”

“Yeah, I agree. But I also don’t think I should be with someone just because I don’t want them to be with someone else. And plus, what about James?”

“I don’t really know what to tell you, Grace. What does Liam say?”

“Liam just wants me to be happy. Did I tell you how Sidney told me Liam really did want to be with me again?”

“I kind of already knew that.” She said.

“I think James feels threatened by Liam.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think it bothers him that Liam and I are so close and that we live together.” I said.

“Didn’t it bother Sidney too?”

“It did until he knew the whole situation.”

“and James knows about the cancer and everything?”

“Yeah, James knows everything.”

“What about your parents?”

“They don’t know I’m seeing someone.”

“How are they going to react?”

“I don’t care. They already made me lose one boy.” I said.

“So you will betray your parents for James but not Sidney?”

“That’s what Sidney said too. I’m not picking James over Sidney.”

“You are though. I mean you have.” She said.

“Its not black and white.”

“It never is with you.”