Five.

“Was that okay?” He asked me when he pulled away. I just nodded yes. I was in complete shock. I wasn’t expecting it at all. I know its been over a month since we have been hanging out but I was never expecting anything from him. I still wasn’t sure where my heart was at with Liam.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked me.

“I just wasn’t expecting you to do that.” I said.

“Really? I have been thinking about doing that since the day we met.” He said.

“So you leave tomorrow?” I asked changing the subject.

“Yeah, just for like three days or so.” He explained.

“Are you going to watch the game?” He asked me.

“Yeah.. of course.” I said acting like I always watch them.

“What? It was a legit question, I know watching hockey isn’t that high up on your list of things to do.” He said.

“It is when I care about the outcome.” I said smiling at him.

“Do you want to get breakfast or something tomorrow morning?” He asked.

“Yeah, whatever you want.” I said.

“Well I would like to see you before I go, if that’s okay.”

“Yeah..” I said.

Was something wrong tonight at the park?

When I read that text, I dialed Sidney’s number. I didn’t want him to doubt that I liked him. I didn’t want him to doubt the feeling that he had for me, or the kiss. I wanted him to kiss me. Most days, I want him. But, some days I think about how this couldn’t work. I think about how being with him may mean losing Liam. Some days I think about how he still knows hardly nothing about me, and its not his fault. Its not his fault that he doesn’t know me, its mine. But, am I ready to tell him? Am I ready to drop this huge bomb while he is playing in the playoffs?

“Hey.” I said calling him while laying on my bed.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine.” I simply said.

“Are you sure.. because you were quiet.” He said.

“I don’t want you to think that you did something.. because you didn’t.” I said.

“Okay, but whats wrong?” He asked again.

“I’m just confused.”

“About?” He asked.

“Just about life. I don’t know if confused is the right word..”

“What is the right word then?”

“Stressed.”

“About what?”

“About school, about living here this summer, about Liam, about you..”

“Grace, I don’t want to stress you out.”

“Sid, I look forward to hanging out with you and everything..”

“You just don’t know about Liam.”

“Its not as easy as black and white.” I said.

“What do you mean?”

“Its hard to explain..”

“Well whenever you want to explain it to me, I’m here.” He said.

“I still want to go to breakfast with you. I still like you, me being stressed out doesn’t change that.” I said. “Plus, I need a friend while I’m here alone.” I said laughing.

“well you got me.” He said.

“Stop with the brooding guitar act.” I said walking past Liam’s room. He played guitar. He learned how to play at the hospital and was starting to actually sound good.

“It’s not an act.” He said.

“Sure.” I said laughing.

Monday (Game 3 vs. Senators)

“Is it on yet?” I yelled to Liam from my bedroom. I was studying Anatomy before the game started. I didn’t want to miss the game, though. Sidney and I were good before he left for Ottawa. Nothing was really figured out. He likes me, I like him, but you know. I just know that when Sidney is away, I miss him. I know that and I know that I should tell him these things, but then I would have to explain to him why I’m confused. We kissed again before he left. It felt so natural. It felt so right.

“Liam! Is it on yet?” I yelled again. He didn’t answer me.

“No, its not on! I’ll tell you when it is on!” He yelled back at me. Something was up with Liam. He seemed different. He was just distant or rude to me. It was weird, but I didn’t think about it too much. With finals and Sidney, and the playoffs, I just didn’t feel like worrying about Liam.

“Since when did you care so much about the penguins?” Liam asked in between the first and second periods.

“Since when did you become king of the penguins?” I asked.

“Oh right! You just want in the captain’s pants.” He said.

“Oh right, and you want in Brooks’.” I snapped back. We didn’t talk until the end of the game.

“I don’t get why you are being like this.” I said.

“I just don’t get you and Sidney.”

“What is there not to get?”

“It doesn’t matter. Tell him I said good job, when he calls.” Liam said walking to his bedroom.

“Liam.. don’t be like this.” I said walking into his room.

“I just miss you.” He said.

“I’m right here, Liam.” I said.

“Do you want to hang out tomorrow night? Just study and order in and then watch a movie?” He asked.

“If you promise to actually help me study.. then yes. That sounds like a good plan.” I said.

“Are you going to our 9am tomorrow?” I asked before leaving his room.

“I don’t know. Come in my room tomorrow morning and check.” He said laughing.

“Next semester, I’m not waking you up for class everyday!” I said and left the room.

Sidney didn’t call me that night, he text me. He always is suppose to text me in case I’m sleeping. We have a system. Yes, we are dorks. I missed him, but it was nice knowing he was thinking of me too.

Tuesday

“Hey, so what movie are we watching?” I asked Liam. We had just finished up studying and I went to change into my PJ’s.

“I figured you would want to watch A Walk to Remember.” He said. I loved that movie. I loved that movie before I was diagnosed but after I was diagnosed, it just meant more. It meant so much that Landon would stick by and watch her die. That would be the hardest thing in the world, make peace with dying but then having your world turned up side down in a good way and not wanting to die. Its just a classic love story, but when you are in that situation, it just means so much more.

“Good call.” I said grabbing a blanket and going to sit on the couch.

Halfway through the movie, Liam grabbed the blanket and we were sitting there together. It was nice. We use to do this a lot. Well, probably not a lot because we always lived 2 hours away. But our parents were really good about letting us see each other. We would see each other probably every other weekend. But while we were getting treatments, we were together everyday. We would be together when we were both staying at the hospital obviously, but once we got released and just had to come back for treatments certain days, we would still be together in this same apartment, doing what we are doing this very moment.

“Don’t cry.” He said turning to me after the movie was over.

“Its just sad. Why couldn’t they have a happy ending?” I asked him with tears streaming down my face.

“Why couldn’t we?” He asked me and then he kissed me. Liam kissed me. It wasn’t a nice little peck on the lips to say sorry or something like that. It was a Liam and Grace kiss. It was a passionate kiss, which obviously just sent me head for a spin.

“What was that?” I asked.

“I miss this.”He said.

“Yeah.. I have to study. I’m going to the library tomorrow night before the game if you want to come.” I said and then I went into my room. I grabbed my phone and texted two people with the same message:

Liam just kissed me.

Hey all! I just wanted to say that since this is a very new story and kind of different than my others. Well, lets me honest, not that different.. its a Sidney story! But, anyways, since its fairly new and I'm not too confident in it yet, I would just love as much feedback as possible on chapters. As you know, I don't like writing chapters when no one comments, but especially in a new story I don't want to write a chapter that no one reads. So feel free to leave comments about anything.. about how stupid Liam is or how stupid of a name one of the characters are.. just anything! Tell me what you want to happen, when you want her to tell him about cancer, or if you don't want her too. Just leave me comments, sorry to be annoying.. I just want people to read this story! Thanks. God Bless <3
PS: is it hockey season yet?!