Four.

We were probably at Jordan’s for two hours or so. I decided that I should just go home with Liam, so Sidney wouldn’t have to drive back into the city.

I was nice to Liam. Sidney texted me on the way home.

Good job, way to be mature… : )

Glad you noticed.

Shut up! And I don’t think Liam was watching me.

Maybe not. What are you doing tomorrow?

“who are you talking too?” Liam asked when he saw me smiling at my phone.

“Sidney.” I said.

“You like him?” Liam asked.

“I don’t know him.” I said.

“You are going to hang out with him again, I can tell.” He said.

I just ignored him and texted Sidney back.

I think I may go to the library for a little. Do you have a game?

No.. we just have practice. Do you want to go to dinner or lunch or anything?

Yeah, for sure.

Should you ask Liam’s permission first?

Shut up! You are so not being funny.

I thought it was rather funny : )

Okay, well Liam is being annoying. I’ll text you later.

“I’m hanging out with him tomorrow.” I told Liam.

“Did you tell him about cancer?” He asked.

“No? Did you tell Jordan and them?” I asked.

“No.” He said.

“Jordan seems cool.” I said.

“Yeah, I think me, him, and TK are going to do something tomorrow.” He told me.

“Fun.” I simply said.

April 2008

So it has been about two weeks since I started hanging out with Sidney. It has been really good, so far. We talk all the time and we see each other more than I was expecting. It was just little things. He would pick me up from volunteering and we would get dinner or coffee. Or he would come visit me while I was studying at near by coffee shop on the South Side. It was just nice to have another person I could count on that wasn’t Liam.

Liam and I have been good too. He has been hanging out with Jordan and Max and Tyler. Max actually lives on the South Side too, so it was convenient for them. Ben was super stoked because he started hanging out with them too. It was weird because for the first time since I met Liam, we were hanging out with different people. We weren’t inseparable anymore. Actually, it probably wasn’t accurate to say that. We still hung out a lot, we had the same classes and we lived together. We would still have movie nights and still had game nights. We still told each other everything.. he was still Liam. We were still Grace and Liam, but there was also a Grace and Sidney.

It was my birthday and I was super stoked. It fell on a Saturday so we had the whole day planned. I was going to breakfast with Liam, Rose, and Ben.. just the 4 of us like it use to always be. Then, Liam and I were going to spend the day together. Just us two, because he still knew me better than anyone else. I was really looking forward to it. With Liam, it was weird. I wouldn’t feel anything sometimes when he would walk into a room, but other times I did. It caught me off guard when it happened, because I was never expecting it to happen. With Sidney, it was more constant. I was always nervous when I was around Sidney. I always had those butterflies. I didn’t know if it was a sign to say that I liked Sidney in a way that was different than the way I liked Liam, or if it was just because I wasn’t comfortable yet with Sidney.

I told Sidney I would go to dinner with him. They were in the middle of their series with the Senators. They played last night, so he only had practice. Then they had an off day on Sunday and we leave to go to Ottawa. I was excited for dinner with him. I was always excited to do things with him. However, it still didn’t sit completely well with me that I didn’t tell him about the cancer. Not, because I felt like I was lying or that I thought he deserved to know. It wasn’t either of those things, it was like I felt like he couldn’t fully know me until he knew that. I think the way I do about so many things because of cancer. I met Liam because of cancer. I am in Pittsburgh because of cancer. Because of cancer so many things happened, but I didn’t want because of cancer to be the reason Sidney liked me. I didn’t want it to continually define my life. I knew Sidney liked me. I mean, obviously. We have been talking all the time and we hang out. I know we are friends, but I don’t know if we are more than friends. Sometimes I catch his eye and I think that there is more. But, to be honest, I have no idea if he is hanging out with other girls. I don’t think he is, because we hang out a lot. I just was worried that once the cancer thing came out, which is was bound to happen, that it would change things. I didn’t want to lose him because of cancer, yet again because of cancer.

“Hey.” I said getting into Sidney’s car.

“Happy Birthday.” He said smiling.

“Thank you sir.” I replied.

“So where are we going?” I asked.

“My favorite restaurant.” He said.

Nothing too significant happened over dinner. We had normal conversation and laughed. I learned more about him and his family. He learned more stupid things about my life. But, after dinner.. he grabbed my hand while we were walking to the car. I know, I’m not 12 and holding hands doesn’t mean love. But, it does mean something. And, I could live with something.

It wasn’t the only something to happen that night. He took me to this park in Sewickley. We just sat on this bench for what seemed like forever. We just talked and talked and talked. You would think we would run out of things to say, but it never seemed to happen. I could talk to him for hours on end, and Liam was the only other person I ever felt that way about.

“I’m glad we met.” Sidney said.

“Me too. These past weeks have been really fun.” I said.

“When do finals start?” He asked.

“In like two weeks. We are done the last week in April.” I said.

“Then you go back?” He asked.

“No.. I’m staying here for the summer.”

“Oh really.. why?” He asked.

“I’m going to take classes that I need for med school. And I will volunteer more often.” I explained.

“You aren’t going to get rid of me.” I said smiling.

“Good, I was just going to say that it will be weird not having you around.” He said.

“I’ll be around, don’t worry.” I said laughing.

“Is Liam staying?” He asked.

“Liam lives like right outside of Pittsburgh. He will stay in the apartment but he isn’t taking classes. He will probably just come and go as he pleases. Rose is going back home.. I don’t know what Ben is doing.” I told him.

“So you will be alone in the apartment?” He asked.

“Some days probably. Liam will get sick of being home. He has 3 younger brothers, he will want his freedom again.” I told him.

“I’m glad you have Liam.” He told me.

“What? You don’t even like Liam.”

“I don’t dislike Liam.”

“you so do.” I said laughing.

“No, I don’t like the fact that I have to compete with Liam.”

“There is no competing between you two.”

“Okay, well then I don’t like the feeling Liam feels like you are his.”

“He doesn’t.” I said defending Liam.

“Regardless, I’m glad you have him because I know that he will never let anything bad happen to you.”

“He protects me from things I don’t even needed protected from.”

“Like me.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“But, still.. I don’t think it would sit well with me knowing you are in that apartment by yourself.” He said.

“Its perfectly safe. Plus, Max lives like three blocks away.”

“Oh yeah, that’s comforting.” He said laughing.

“you don’t have to worry about me.” I said turning to look right into his eyes.

“I can’t help it.” He said pushing my bangs out of my eyes. Then, he leaned in and kissed me.